Larry and the new guy try to one-up each other until the end, when they realize the little girl just wants her family to get along. The plot of the film is what you would expect: Larry plays "Larry," a doofus who shares custody of his daughter with his ex-wife and her new, wealthy husband.
JINGLE ALL THE WAY 2 FULL
Jingle All the Way 2 offers a full compliment of expertly awful sight gags: Larry glues his ass to a mechanical bull, has his pants ripped off, is sprayed with fake snow, and occasionally puts his family in mortal danger. I just let the images and sounds wash over me like a cool redneck mud bath on a humid day at Honey Boo Boo's house. I didn't even get mad that I had to watch it to write this article. I did not weep for humanity's future. I did not move from my seat except to get water. Jingle All the Way 2 is the Britney Spears of movies. I once compared the mediocrity of Britney Spears to a truck-stop painting-so polished in its meaninglessness that it becomes beautiful.
What's actually insidious about the whole endeavor is that it's so good at being so bad. The studio might as well have slapped a sticker on the front of the box that says "This is going to suck." With all that in mind, no one can be accused of getting tricked into watching this movie. The production company behind the sequel is WWE Films, which has a legendary pedigree of making cheap schlock. The original Jingle All the Way was a miserable bowl of lukewarm cinematic haggis, so no one is going to be upset about Jingle All the Way 2 tarnishing the legacy of its predecessor. It's the low-budget sequel to a baroque era Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy that's only claim to fame is how many clips from it are in those "Arnold quotes" supercut videos on YouTube. It has a heartwarming message about the importance of family. Jingle All the Way 2 is not a mean-spirited film. Maybe it's some kind of scheme by the aliens to destroy the human race not with weapons, but through poisoning our culture without us ever noticing. You will sponsor your own brand of snack foods, appear in heartburn medication commercials, and star in Tooth Fairy 2. Some sick space parasite is controlling Dan Whitney's body, forcing him into ever more ludicrous career decisions. Maybe an alien carved his stomach open and crawled inside like Han did with the Tauntaun in Empire Strikes Back. Dan Whitney makes Sacha Baron Cohen look like Steven Seagal when it comes to commitment to character. I think we've all given up hope of ever seeing Dan Whitney again, as though he's in a trunk somewhere with his throat slit and a banana in his mouth. Larry is all we know and all we will ever know of this man. The long con of Larry the Cable Guy's career has been so perfect and so fascinating to watch because the character of "Larry" has ceased to be a character at all. Madea and Larry the Cable Guy share a comedic sensibility that starts at laughing at mispronounced words and ends with cliche jokes about lower-class oafs, but what separates Larry from Madea and makes him the gold standard of cringe comedy is that Tyler Perry exists out in public, but Dan Whitney does not.
If he could have convinced Pixar to forgo animating a car for the character of Mater and instead plopped the real Larry into Cars, he would have. As it stands now, A Madea Christmas was Larry the Cable Guy's Punch-Drunk Love-an earnest attempt to show the world a comedian can act. He also wears glasses in the movie, which was probably a point of contention during production. His character's name was "Buddy," which has the same number of letters as "Larry" and helpfully also ends in "y." I wondered to myself if there was just another character already named Larry when he was cast that necessitated the change, but there wasn't.
JINGLE ALL THE WAY 2 MOVIE
The one movie where he had to stretch his range and try to remember to respond to a name that's not "Larry" was A Madea Christmas-which was the "shitty racial stereotype" equivalent of a Marvel/DC crossover.
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